So, since I have 5 minutes…

I can write about…well, what shall I write about? There are too many good books in the world.

Lemme think… for a sec. BRB

10 minutes and a snack later:

I’ve figured it out! By being smart and looking at my sidebar, I found out that I HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT E.D. FRICKIN BAKER YET!!!!!!!!!

Wow. I can’t believe I missed it. This incredible series.

So. The Frog Princess. NOT the annoying Disney “new” classic that has just come out. Sorry, Dani (my classmate for those of you who did not know that until now), but I think it completely ruins the image of the series. I mean, movies 99% of the time do that to their original book. This book always makes me smile, especially on days when I feel like crap and want nothing more than to sit down and read. Yes, read read read read read.

Princess Emeralda. Ok, first of all, that is the best name ever for this character. It just oozes of royalty that isn’t there. Better known as plain “Emma”, the princess is a feisty, unusual girl who is not the average princess. Yes, we readers have heard the “not the average princess” plot before, but don’t judge until you hear the rest. Her mother is queen of Greater Greensward, and her father the king. Emma has grown up knowing that she doesn’t fit. I mean, look at her mother. Prim, proper, faints when she’s supposed to, the works. Well, at least Grassina, Emma’s aunt, doesn’t fit in either. The connection? They’re both witches. Of course, Emma doesn’t know that at the the beginning of the series, because she believes that she sucks at magic. Well, you know what? Emma’s awesome. No matter what she says. Did I mention that the book is in first person, with the princess narrating? Creative position, I think. Or maybe E.D. Baker was bored and threw it in there.

In this world, magic is a common thing. In Greater Greensward, it is welcomed, as the Green Witch (has to be the nicest witch in Greater Greensward AKA Grassina) has protected the country for centuries. In Upper Montevista, magic is despised.

So, enough with the bg stuff. Emma meets Eadric, a frog in the first book. She kisses him, and instead of the oh-so-predictable-”the frog turns into a prince-story, we get a different ending. Emma turns into a frog.

And so, the end becomes the beginning. Emma and Eadric deal with tolerating each other, and Emma tries to find a way to reverse the spell. Pretty original, I would say. It’s funny, fast-paced in a good way, and has “sophisticated language” as one critic put it. I personally found this book while rooting around in my elementary school library, and after reading the first book, I found the second book. And the third book. And then I had to wait a couple of years for the fourth one and the fifth one to come out. After I read those, another few years, and out comes two more, about…well, I shouldn’t say because then it gives it away. Hey, I rhymed! Some people may feel that the plot is more for kids, but the language is so “sophisticated” that I could read it now and still be blown away. One thing that is different about most fantasy books is that the whole story is really, really casual for a whole magic/fantasy thing. I had no trouble at all believing anything. I guess that’s one quirk I love to death. I have to hand it to E.D. Baker, who is in fact a woman, she produced 7 really good books, the 7th being a little terrible but giving a happy close to the book. Yes, Mrs. Baker has said that there will be no more for this series. Luckily, she has other books (Wings, which is really awesome–I will probably do a review on it sometime).

Here is the list of the Tales of the Frog Princess Series just so you can see what I’ve been talking about for the past 5 paragraphs:

The Frog Princess (first one)

Dragon’s Breath (starts up right after end of first one)

Once Upon a Curse (“ending to trilogy”, that is until she came out with another one)

No Place For Magic (follow-up to what i call the original three)

The Salamander Spell (prologue to the Frog Princess–it’s about Grassina, not my favorite, but still kinda cool)

Dragon Princess (what might turn out to be my favorite one in a while)

Dragon Kiss (the slightly terrible one)

I don’t know. I guess what I really like about this series is that it’s funny, but it’s also really romantic in a down to earth kind of way. And I don’t mean like, kiss-romantic. I just mean simple love for a person or people. It’s a little predictable in a loving kind of way. If that made no sense, don’t worry, I didn’t get it either.

There’s also an audiobook for this series, well at least for the first four books, I think. They are wonderful; I love the narrator, and you can get them on iTunes if you don’t live near a library. This is one modern classic that I feel (or at least wish) will stay famous and loved by everybody for a very long time.

Oh no, I fear I have overdone myself. Oh well, more reading for you people.

7.5 stars (yes you readers know how stingy I am with stars, so this is unusual-also new readers, the ratings are out of 8 stars)

~Oh Wherefore art thou Romeo? (which actually means “why Romeo”? not “where is Romeo”? – don’t laugh, i did not know this)

I’ve Got a Feeling…

that tonight’s gonna be a night… where I do not have a lot of time so in order for me to keep on educating you people on book cynicism I need to make what I call a:

short.

review.

Yes, I am finally being forced to write a book review that is no longer than a paragraph. yippee. And I don’t like making drafts so don’t even suggest I think halfway through then stop because then I will forget all that I was thinking about and disaster will strike. (like Haiti-poor people–DONATE-you can donate in iTunes) And all because of father Time. I thank you, Kronos for pressuring me into typing so fast that I make mistakes. Make no mistake, my WPM is 80, but even I have limits.

Ok: Sabriel.

Yes, Jaion, SABRIEL.

Here’s my one paragraph speech: Sabriel is a very deep fantasy world where there is a world of Life and a world of Death. Basically, if you die, you can come back, but you’re not really alive anymore, you’re just these Dead Hands thingys who are servants to evil people. There are also necromancers. And in this book, not all necromancers have bad motives. There are special necromancers called Abhorsens, and what they do is they put the Dead-that-came-back-to-world-of-Life back into the world of the Dead, making them properly dead so they will never rise again. Sabriel, the main character, and the person behind the title of the book, is our lovely heroine in our story, and she becomes the Abhorsen after her father… gets into some trouble (no spoilers from me). She is joined by Mogget, a free magic spirit in the shape of a white cat who is bound by a red collar, and Touchstone, a human who was alive 200 years back but got stuck in a petrified state adhered naked to the front of an old ship. Yeah. Deeeeepppp fantasy. ANyways, It’s the basic good against evil, and Sabriel has to defeat a creepy scary monster thing, so the story pretty much unfolds as it should. Altogether, Sabriel wasn’t something I would have read on my own, I admit. If Jaion hadn’t lent it to me, and then reminded me again that she didn’t lend me books so they would gather dust on my shelf, I took it up. After that, it seemed I couldn’t put it down. I mean, it wasn’t so heart-pounding that I was going to explode if I didn’t bring it to school, but it was interesting enough that I was curious to find out what would happen in Sabriel’s journey.

I think the word I would use is “epic.” Which is what the reviewers on the back cover used too. But I think it totally fits the situation. By the way, there’s 2 more books (Lirael and Abhorsen) and 2 more on the way. Oh, oops! I forgot…. the author is Garth Nix. I know, right? It’s like the best fantasy author name I’ve ever heard, yet if you go to his website, his real name really is Garth Nix. He even mentions that no one ever believes him or something or other. (i love that phrase) So, I just wrote two paragraphs, violating what I said in the beginning, but don’t blame me. Blame the adrenaline and the sugar from the sour patch kids I just ate.

6.5 stars

~And now I remember to remind you people that I saw lightning and  heard thunder today at 5 am! IT WAS EPIC!

Yes and No

Yes, it’s a wonderful a new year.

No, I won’t have as much time to write posts.

I feel like I’ve said this before, but….. readers need to get ready to brace themselves because school is starting again. And as I have come to learn from past experience, school takes up a lot of time. But you know, I’m sure I’ll squeeze in some time to write for you dear lovely readers.

So, readers. Get ready for the absence of free time. Startinggg….. tomorrow.

~As Long as You’re Mine

myst.

The Alchemyst. First, wonderful spelling. Second, wonderful book. Third..Wait..gotta go get a snack to start my brain wheels…

10 minutes later

When your body leans towards the carrots, listen to your brain and lean towards the chocolate cake instead.

Anyways, now that my brain is on medium sugar (it takes two slices to get me on high) I can now go on and on and on and torture your puny brains with my evil typing.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAbloopHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

never mind.

The Alchemyst is by Michael Scott, and I’m sure he’s a darling, but we’re not here to talk about Michael (however Darling he may be), we are here to talk about his fabulous books. The Alchemyst is part of an ongoing series, with the current books being:

The Alchemyst

The Magician

The Sorceress

Apparently, there are more. Looking at Wikipedia, I found out that there will be 6 books in all:

The Alchemyst

The Magician

The Sorceress

The Necromancer

The Warlock

The Enchantress

The next book in the series, The Necromancer, comes out on May 25, 2010 (CAN’T WAIT!!!), so my hunger for the next installment will not last much longer. Anyways, the series (formal name: The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel) is actually based on real people, John Dee and Nicholas Flamel. John Dee is the antagonist however, and Nicholas is….I hesitate to say protagonist, or ally on the good side, or anything else, as further reading of the series starts to debate whether Nicholas is to be trusted or not. The main characters, I should say the protagonists because they really are the protagonists–not Nicholas Flamel– are twins Josh and Sophie Newman. They seem ordinary, and maybe they are, but they are in fact the twins of legend in this world. The whole plot is basically that Nicholas and the twins have to keep John Dee and his other acquaintances (the Dark Elders and Machiavelli) from destroying the world and such. Other things come in, such as Sophie and Josh having very powerful auras, and this book called the Codex and epic battles and an awesome god named Scathach (Scatty).

I truly think this book has much potential (oh like it doesn’t have a reputation already) and I’m seriously reccomending this book to all ages. 8 year olds will enjoy it, 21 year olds will enjoy it, 40 year old bored soccer moms would enjoy it, and kind old ladies sitting on their porch in the rocking chair would enjoy it too. What I find interesting is that Michael Scott puts so much detail into every action the characters make, so that the 3 books so far have only spanned over a few days. Michael Scott literally writes about everything the characters do, he doesn’t skip time like other authors or ANYTHING. The complete record of the fight for the world’s sanity is complete. There is nothing missing. I mean, except for when the twins are sleeping, or when Scatty has to go to the bathroom (wait, do gods go to the bathroom?)….. anyways, you get the point.

This is an action-packed series. Beware. Rawr. Crud. I have totally drawn a blank on insults, criticism, etc.

7.5 stars

~ImaDinosaur

Yet it Rains

the clouds are moving pretty fast.

How was your christmas, people? wonderful? wonderful.

Why do I never talk extensively about Tamora Pierce? In fact, why will I never? I think it has something to do with the fact that if I actually wanted to, I probably couldn’t put my opinions into simple words and ideas. I’d probably go off on long-winded speeches every so often, and the resulting mess would be unreadable. Tamora Pierce has created this HUGE, believable, tangible, plausible (even though that’s the same as believable) world. They characters work, the setting works, the system just works. Tammy’s world is just too much like reality. I guess if I tried to explain everything, I’d be here all day. What readers need to do, if they want to understand Tamora Pierce, is to read. her. books. Simple as that.

~Pizza Boxes

Again

Again, we have a new writer coming to my petit blog here–meet Maddie. Unless you want a codename, Maddie, I’m going to call you that…

Maddie’s color is green, as you have noticed from the last post. Thank you for actually writing something…jaion….

Maddie: Feel free to comment on other posts, oh and also put some info on the writer’s information page. Also, I made a widget that says what you’re reading, and what you’re going to review next. Feel free to toy with that too, okay?

Just as a clearer upper for you, when you talk about books, give a little background, then write your opinion. Look at previous posts as an example if you want.

Oh, also, leave your name at the bottom. Like this.

~Butterflys

New Moon

Well there’s a lot of controversy about this series and here’s my opinion. The books are good (maybe not well written) and they tell an interesting story. There, fin.

The saga is about a teenage girl, Bella, who discovers a world of the mythological–vampires and werewolves. While living in Forks, Washington, she falls in love with a 105 year old vampire who lives in a huge family. In New Moon, her lover, Edward, leaves her thinking it is the best for her safety. Totally distraught, Bella pretty much vanishes form society for several months. She lives in a stupor of grief. She is finally awakened when her life-time friend Jacob Black comes into her life. Their bond strengthens and Jacob falls in love, but Bella, still not over Edward, does not return his affections. After some time together, Jacob vanishes and Bella’s wounds of grief reopen. One mysterious night, Jacob visits her desperately trying to explain to her why he left. He pleads with her to remember stories he once told her, stories of vampires and werewolves. The next morning, Bella wakes up from a dream of huge wolves and realizes that Jacob is a werewolf. They talk and their bond deepens. She meets the wolf pack and makes new friends. During those months with Jacob, Bella discovers that an adrenaline rush causes a mirage of Edward to come and speak with her. In one attempt for a rush, Bella goes cliff jumping and nearly drowns, and is saved by Jacob. Alice, Edward’s sister, who can see the future, thinks she sees Bella commit suicide. She tells Rosalie, her beautiful and dour sister who the tells Edward. Edward cannot live in a world without Bella so he goes to the Volturi. The Volturi are an old family who enforce the laws of the vampires. Edward asks them to kill him. Because of his gift of reading minds, the Volturi refuse. In order to get his wish, Edward plans to show himself to the people of Volterra in Italy, where the Volturi live. This would mean breaking the most important rule, leaving the Volturi no choice but to kill him. Alice and Bella race to Italy to save him and they meet the Volturi, against their wishes. The Volturi decide to let them go on the condition that Bella becomes an immortal as well, because she knows far too much about their world. Edward and Bella return to Forks and are together again. Jacob is crushed to loose Bella.

I saw the movie yesterday and it was good. To understand New Moon, you have to read Twilight first. The last two books in the series are Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.

Go Team Jacob!

We are being invaded..

BY SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways, if you haven’t noticed already, I’m a little insane. Or I just have too much time on my hands. It’s probably the latter (*giggle* I’ve been waiting to use that word).

So, anyways, like, yeah.

My english teacher doesn’t like it when we start with the above.

I discovered a very cool, very new, very awesome, book a few weeks ago in Books Inc. BLUE. SHOES (that’s the title. Blue Shoes. Sorry if that wasn’t clear before). Not only is the title awesome, the author and illustrator are awesome. Author: author of the Sylvie books. Illustrator: Ilustrator of the….(drumroll) HARRY POTTTER BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, right? (My english teacher hates that too)

Wait, the best part hasn’t come yet.

T

H

E

T

E

X

T

I

S

.

.

.

.

BLUE.

BLUE I tell you. The text. is. blue.

~!

Nothing.

I’d really love to write a whole big long thing about a book I recently read, but guess what?

 

I don’t feel like it.

 

There you go.

 

~Moving on

If you live in Albuquerque, you can spell anything

It doesn’t count if you live in Mississippi, that one’s just easy.

Anyways (I don’t care if I use the word too much, I’M TIRED), Im gonna type about this book I read yesterday….took me like an hour to read, but I wanna talk bout it.

If the above’s spelling and grammar frightened you readers who are normally awed by my perfectness in writing usually, here’s my excuse: I AM UTTERLY SICK, if you haven’t read my other blog.

Anyways (there I go again, and yes I don’t care), It’s called It’s Only Temporary by Sally Warner. First of all, did any of you readers also stop to think about the author’s name? No offense to Sally, but it is a really common name. For some reason, I’ve always thought and seen that author’s names were exotic and awesome looking and everything (Kristin Cashore, Tamora Pierce, Noel Streatfeild, Madeleine L’Engle, etc.) but no, there are some books out there written by perfectly normal names, if not people.

Anyways (..), I was sick all day yesterday and also today, so I decided not to waste my time and catch up on my reading. So, I read Airman by Eoin Colfer and It’s Only Temporary by Sally Warner. Which one would you guys think would be cooler just by looking at the titles and the authors? Of course Airman by Eoin Colfer! First of all, Eoin Colfer is a sick name, and second of all, Airman suggests SOOO many awesome things.

Buuuuut, I decided to talk about the short, unnoticed book by the normal author, because I thought it was different. And interesting. And definitely refreshing. I really needed a break from all these horrific and dark stories about living in the prison for 3 years, then assassinating the king, and yadayadayada.

So, It’s Only Temporary. It’s a relatively new book. Came out in 2008 about. Skye McPhee is a twelve year old with a seriously problematic life. Her brother is deranged cuz he drove the family car into who knows what, got his brain bashed in, and is now learning to talk and eat all over again. Her parents don’t have time for her, as they’re very busy trying to restore her brother back to normal. And, she has to move from Albuquerque, New Mexico to Sierra Madre, California. (woot! go Cali!) For half a year. With her grandmother who is a little too much of a health nut. Besides brainstorming on how to stay invisible  at her new school and drawing awesome cartoons of everybody in her life in her sketchbook/notebook, Skye admits her feelings down on papers, in list form. Unique, eh?

Eventually, as all sane people, Skye begins to fit in, and make friends in her art class, and her life seems to be pretty stable for a while. Of course it can’t be like that forever, otherwise I’d just chuck the book in the trash can (no i’m sorry book i would never do that it’s just a figure of speech even if you are terrible). So, there’s this group of stupid dumbos who seem to ruin Skye’s tries to start a new life at every corner. You can imagine their unimaginable feats of darkness while I talk a bit more.

Accompanied with comical illustrations by the author herself (she was an illustrator first before she was a writer), this book radiates growing-uppiness, but besides that, it just gives any reader a sense of safeness and comfort, even though it’s about the uncomfortableness of being a teen. It was a considerable break in my line of serious, heavy books and I have to admit I didn’t realize I needed it until I read this book.

Maybe you should guys should consider taking a break from the serious too and read a short book that you can read in an hour. It really makes a difference.

6 stars

~Droopy Eyelids